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Armed For Your Protection
Typical White Person
Conservatives for Freedom:
Combatting the scourge of socialist enslavement since 2003!
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Heh heh....check out the top banner at this board.
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Continental Army Regular
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Moving in silently,downwind and out of sight.Senior Moderator
After 94 years of
leading the Democrat-majority Congress, Rep. Nancy Pelosi retires to
take the position as manager of a multi-billion hive mind of the Borg
collective. "My previous existence as Madam Speaker, combined with
cutting-edge plastic surgeries have fully prepared me for this dream
job," said the Democrat Representative from San Francisco. "Ever since I
was a little girl, all I really wanted in life was to become a
biomechanical hive queen in a Borg campaign to assimilate Earth and
force humans to appreciate the benefits of enhanced living as mindless
drones controlled by collective consciousness."
Pro-lifers are the only group of people who do not get called what they call themselves. They are called "anti-choice". So be it. That makes abortion supporters "anti-life" or "pro-death". - BK
Jun 27 10 4:40 PM
Jun 27 10 5:06 PM
May 28, 2008
CHICAGO—As the 2008 presidential election draws closer,
Democrat Barack Obama has reportedly been working tirelessly with his
top political strategists to perfect his looking-off-into-the-future
pose, which many believe is vital to the success of the Illinois
When performed correctly, the pose involves Obama standing upright
with his back arched and his chest thrust out, his shoulders positioned
1.3 feet apart and opened slightly at a 14-degree angle, and his eyes
transfixed on a predetermined point between 500 and 600 yards away.
Advisers say this creates the illusion that Obama is looking forward to a
bright future, while the downturned corners of his lips indicate that
he acknowledges the problems of the present.
"The senator spends six hours a day gazing resolutely off into the
distance," said chief political strategist David Axelrod, who regularly
analyzes video of the pose with Obama, pinpoints areas that need
improvement, and makes necessary tweaks.
"It is critical to get every detail right," Axelrod continued. "If he
looks up an inch too high, he appears aloof or confused. If he looks
down too low, it appears that he is distracted by something in the back
of the auditorium. If the curvature of his upper lip is not at the exact
0.87-centimeter radius, it reads that he does not care about preserving
the environment for future generations."
The pose also requires Obama to arch his eyebrows at 32-degree
angles, open his mouth to prevent the misconception that he is frowning
about the future, and briefly flare his nostrils to convey faith in the
He must then clench his jaw with sufficient force to express strength
and decisiveness—if he uses too much force, Axelrod said, his
supraorbital forehead vein becomes visible and makes it appear as though
he is in physical pain.
"Every millimeter of that head vein costs him 150,000 votes," Axelrod
To complete the pose, Obama must then open his eyes at an aperture of
1.43 centimeters, tilt his chin slightly upward, and rotate his head 37
degrees to the left. His advisers stressed that he must always look to
"When you look to the future, you look to the left," Axelrod said.
"Looking to the right is an
this-great-nation-from-now-on pose. It's too early for that."
The biggest obstacle Obama has had to overcome in recent weeks is his
proclivity to squint while looking toward the future, which aides say
"We've worked on the squinting," said Obama adviser Sam Hosking, who
claimed it was a "death knell" for a candidate to appear to be
struggling to see the nation's future. "It took a lot of work, but we
were able to turn the squint into a solemn blink."
"The blink humanizes him," Hosking added. "But you have to be
careful. Two blinks and people will start to question if he's a man of
Obama has also worked on increasing the speed with which he can
strike the pose. Advisers say that it is critical for him to be able to
quickly and seamlessly transition into the looking-off-into-the-future
pose at any moment, especially during applause breaks in his speeches,
while being photographed from low angles, and whenever there is a large
American flag waving gently behind him.
Obama's advisers have recently given him clearance to nod resolutely
upon completing the looking-off-into-the-future pose.
"A nod is acceptable," Hosking said. "The American people respond
well to nods."
Although Obama's pose has been modified and fine-tuned over the
course of the campaign, some pundits claim that Obama's original
looking-off-into-the-future pose was the strongest and most believable.
"I fell in love with the chin-three-inches-from-the-neck Barack
Obama," said longtime Obama supporter and MoveOn.org employee Peter
Koechley. "I just don't know if a chin-four-inches-from-the-neck or,
even worse, a chin-two-inches-from-the-neck Obama is the same Obama that
first inspired me."
As soon as Obama masters his looking-off-into-the-future pose, aides
say he will begin honing his
Jun 29 10 8:35 AM
Jun 29 10 8:36 AM
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